It’s been quiet around these parts lately, yes?

First of all, hi! Secondly, it was not my intention for it to echo with silence around here for an entire month that followed nearly another month of silence and wither literally all the good vibes coming off the Denver Film Festival that I could. This was not my intention, but it’s what’s happened rendering intent largely irrelevant.

To make things worse, it’s going to be at least another month until a new episode goes up. The reasons for that are listed below. I figure for those of you who come here regularly and enjoy listening to my show on your commute to work or at the gym or whatever, I owe you an explanation as to why I’ve been a ghost lately. So here goes…

1. I have no computer

Literally, I have no computer at the moment. My computer is coming from Dell.com, which I ordered a few days ago and won’t arrive until the end of the month. I’m typing this on an iMac, which my wife bought earlier this week. She had no computer until visiting the Apple Store. So what happened to our computers?

Along with one of our televisions, an Xfinity cable box, my Xbox and a few games, an iPad, some booze, my grandfather’s watch, a few personal effects, and other stuff I won’t bother mentioning here, my computer is in the hands of someone who thought enough of our house to kick in the back door and make off with a bunch of our stuff in the middle of the day.

Yep, we were robbed. We weren’t here, and no one was hurt, so that’s good.

It’s hard to describe the feeling of coming upon your freshly robbed house with your wife and infant daughter behind you. Thankfully, no one remained in the house, so the fear abated quickly. But it’s followed in various intervals by betrayal, hurt, anger, annoyance, and plain old sadness. Not that anyone in their 30s retains much innocence, but seeing the boot print on your backdoor, a splintered doorframe, and your daughter’s crib sheet taken out of her tiny crib used (presumably) to haul away your possessions will rob you of whatever you had left.

Once that feeling numbs, you’re mostly left with the irritation of handling a bunch of administrative bullshit. You talk to your insurance company knowing they’re probably going to hose you, you sit there helplessly while the old fools at Home Depot try to write you an estimate for installing a new door, you tear your hair out waiting for the overseas call center at Dell Computers to underwhelm you. The whole thing is incredibly dispiriting.

Where this concerns you is that I have no computer with which to edit new episodes. Hence, you’ll have to wait until I do. I have no idea when that will be exactly.

2.  I’ve got a family to take care of

I’ve made a conscious choice not to talk much about my wife and daughter in this forum. This will largely remain unchanged. When either of them show up here, you know it’s intentional. I’m doing it for a larger purpose. This is not one of those times. However, I realize leaving things as “I’ve got a family to take care of” isn’t sufficient, so I’ll expound slightly.

In an odd quirk of scheduling, our nanny resigned to take a job for which she had earned a Master’s degree earlier this year, one of the grandmothers moved out of state, and the other became largely unavailable thanks to other obligations. At the same time, my wife experienced both oddly scheduled professional appointments and health challenges which necessitated my taking on a larger childcare role – nothing serious, it’s just been a series of brutal sinus infections interwoven with stomach bugs nearly continuously since Thanksgiving. I haven’t escaped unscathed, but I haven’t been hit nearly to the extent Kristin has.

So, I had to take care of things. When I wrote that sentence the first time, I wrote, “So, I had to make some tough choices regarding my time” which was incorrect. There was no choice. I had to take care of my wife and daughter, which isn’t a choice at all. That’s my top priority, always and forever. One of the by-products is that I’ve had no time to dedicate to this show whatsoever.

Even if I had a computer (which I don’t), you probably would have still gotten the same number of shows since November anyway. Sometimes that’s just the way things work out. It sucks, but I make no apologies for it.

3. Where do we go from here?

First, and most importantly, I want to continue this show. Repeat: I want to continue this show. When will that happen? I’m not entirely sure. As we enter this new year, I have a number of unresolved issues including when exactly my new computer will arrive, resolving my childcare situation, getting my wife fully healthy, shoring up my business (which has also suffered over the last six weeks), and getting back in touch with potential guests and getting them scheduled. As to when that calculus problem adds up to a new episode of Jon of All Trades… I have no idea.

But it will happen. I love this show too much to just let it peter out. That’s why I’m writing you right now. I’ll be back in 2016, I just don’t know when at the moment. So stay tuned, and I’ll see you soon.

Thanks for you support. Have a happy and prosperous 2016!

Jon Eks