Jon of All Trades

Jon’s Audio Resume Vol. 13: Marketing Manager, Energy Drink

Welcome to Jon’s Audio Resume, the Jon of All Trades solo exploration of all the weird ass jobs I’ve had in my life. This series runs in chronological order and here is my 13th job.

Job: Marketing Manager, Energy Drink Company (will remain unnamed)
Duration: March 2010 – May 2010
Pay: $45,000/yr.
Did I get along with my boss(es)? Fuck and no. This place was a sewer.

Christ almighty. Here we go.

This is like a lost episode of my life. I spent two miserable months here and I almost never talk about it. You don’t see this job listed on my LinkedIn profile, mentioned on the Deft blog, or posted anywhere else that pertains to me. Why? Because I fucking hated this job.

You deal with execrable people. My boss was a tyrant, bi-polar, alpha male, former adrenaline junkie meathead douche. The hours were long as hell. The pay was shitty for the staggering amount of work involved. And at the end of the day, you’re slinging energy drink – something no one really needs and a product only the scum of the earth gets really excited about. My co-workers were nice, but I think that’s because we were all in the foxhole together while our boss pounded the living shit out of all of us every day.

So, if the above copy doesn’t give you a sense for the tone of this pending episode or what you can expect content-wise, I don’t know what will. This is me with no fucks to give, and I hope you enjoy it. It was sort of cathartic to record it and talk about it all in one fell swoop. Some have asked me if I’m worried about him/them hearing it. That answer is no for three reasons.

  1. I don’t mention the company by name on purpose. I have no desire to associate with it in any way, ever again. I don’t want any publicity sent their way, even if it is of the blowtorch variety, as it is here.
  2. My old boss was WAY too self-interested ever to find this pissant podcast, nor could he sit still long enough to listen to the whole thing. And even if he wanted to…
  3. He was the dumbest motherfucker on earth when it came to technology. He used to access the internet by opening his Outlook email program, writing in the body of a new email “www.google.com” and clicking it. If he figured out how to even find a podcast, much less listen to it, I’ll eat my hat.

You, however, having technical ability beyond that of quadriplegic baboon, can download the episode on iTunes, stream it on Stitcher, or listen at the Jon of All Trades homepage.

The Jon of All Trades Podcast is a proud member of the Denver Podcast Network.

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