Jon of All Trades

Flashback

Me in 1998 (or so) with my friend Stephen.

Me in 1998 (or so) with my friend Stephen.

It’s Monday as I write this. I’m at work, I’m getting nothing done, my email program has decided it no longer wants to cooperate, and I’m good and hungover. I’m a sentient Garfield cartoon.

The good thing about a shit day like today – which has been one of those days where I felt fine when I woke up and gradually deteriorated as the day got longer, which is the sort of creeping hangover that happens more and more in your 30s – is that the punishment had to have been a result of some worthwhile shenanigans.

And worth it they were. Rarely do 3 things you love from your youth all coalesce into one nostalgic blast of awesome on a single weekend, but this weekend was one such occasion. Let’s go back and party like it’s 199…8!

Friday: Colorado Rockies Home Opener

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I work a condensed work week, which I’ve done for about the last 7 years. We work 9 hour days Monday-Thursday, and half day Fridays. This schedule has likely ruined me for working a Friday afternoon ever again, as the thought of being expected to work Friday afternoons makes me want to have a panic attack on the spot, which, FYI, is doing wonders for my hangover right now.

So, needless to say, having gotten roped into a 4-hour session with my supervisors from 10-2 on Friday made me quite the groaning pissypants. Combine that with missing Opening Day for the first time in 4 years, and I could have melted butter via sheer heat from my scowl.

When the meeting ended, I left treadmarks as I peeled out of the boardroom because not only could I taste the SWEET FREEDOM, I knew my wife and my best friend were waiting at home with the game on, cold beer in the fridge, and absolutely no discussions of corporate synergy or whatever the fuck else.

I proceeded to drink my face off. And the Rockies won 10-2.

Saturday: Mad Caddies Concert (aka SKA SHOW!)

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Here’s a thought experiment. If one wanted to see a grunge show in 2014, how would one go about doing so?

Answer: Impossible. Grunge bands no longer exist. There is no grunge revival, persistent grunge subculture, or a grunge movement waiting to re-emerge after a long hiatus.

I bring this up only because I remain amazed at ska’s vitality in 2014. Keith and I went to this show having gone to easily two or three dozen Mad Caddies shows between the two of us since 1998. And goddamn if this one wasn’t one of the livelier engagements with an active crowd that made us feel old. And that’s good! If this were pure nostalgia act, I think I’d be bummed. I don’t want to see a band where I can have meaningful conversations with several people about property taxes, home improvement projects, and the status of a baby’s ability to sleep through the night. I’m glad I felt like the old guy. I hope I feel that way 16 more years from now.

The Caddies put on a great show, melted my face, and while I didn’t drink my face off (I was driving), I went to bed about three hours later than normal, which had basically the same effect on me. Getting older is stupid.

Sunday: WrestleMania XXX

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Since I likely don’t need to continue to bore my non-wrestling fan readers with esoteric ruminations on the night’s machinations (I was impressed with the way they’re looking to elevate Cesaro by breaking him up from his loser tag team partner and putting him over the Big Show decisively in the Battle Royal! Ending the Undertaker’s streak was an odd booking choice though!), I’ll summarize by stating that losing yourself in the goofy fun of it all was a breath of fresh air.

We cheered. We booed. We shouted YES! We ate pulled pork. And we drank. I drank plenty. Yet again. Three nights in a row that makes.

While 17 year-old me would be exceedingly pleased by the news that 32 year-old me had a weekend dedicated to baseball, ska music, and pro wrestling, 32 year-old me should have made more like 17 year-old me and not drank. Because sweet fancy Moses is this feeling disgusting.

I am no longer 17, as my body insistently reminds me throughout this day that won’t seem to end. Only driving that point home further is the reminder of what I’ve done today – conference calls, expense reports, business writing.

When you throwback, make sure you do it responsibly.

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