Jon of All Trades

Browsing the "Sports" Category


It’s hard to classify winning the Super Bowl as an underrated experience with a straight face. It’s only the largest secular holiday in America, one of the last universally shared annual experiences we have as a culture, and is largely [...]

February 8, 2016 Blog, Sports

Trolling the Troll

The two-week layoff between the conference championship games and the Super Bowl is a cosmic wasteland of NFL news, which leaves the drones and shills who cover the NFL precious little to discuss. As a general practice, I avoid most [...]

February 5, 2016 Blog, Rants, Sports


A couple of years ago, my friend Jason and I got good and drunk and saw the movie Escape Plan. If you don’t remember it – and why would you? – the movie features Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger trying [...]

January 22, 2015 Blog, Rants, Sports


As I was doing my usual slack assing at work this morning, I read the AV Club’s weekly football column, and while writing about the Raiders, columnist John Teti offered these thoughts: “There’s a good chance that Oakland will go [...]

November 14, 2014 Blog, Rants, Sports


The United States plays Belgium today, and I am rooting for the United States. Apparently I am not alone as, according to this (I’m certain) impeccably researched Yahoo news article, the rest of the world is hopping on the US [...]

July 1, 2014 Blog, Sports


Yesterday the Rockies played the Braves and beat them 10-3. This is great on its own because Go Rockies and fuck the Braves. In the bottom of the 8th, Corey Dickerson fouled off a pitch and accidentally struck catcher Gerald [...]

June 13, 2014 Blog, Rants, Sports


The Insane Inflatable 5k was Saturday, and I’m happy to report I led my Rad Racing team to victory… whatever “victory” is when you run in a 5k that isn’t timed among a throng of other “adults” on a course [...]

June 3, 2014 Blog, Sports


It’s Monday as I write this. I’m at work, I’m getting nothing done, my email program has decided it no longer wants to cooperate, and I’m good and hungover. I’m a sentient Garfield cartoon. The good thing about a shit [...]

April 8, 2014 Blog, Booze, Music, Sports


Happy Friday to you. Do you know what Sunday is? It’s WrestleMania. In fact, it’s WrestleMania XXX. While that may not mean anything to you, it means something to me because wrestling basically is my childhood. If I were to [...]

April 4, 2014 Blog, Sports


Seeing as we’re in what’s probably the second greatest sports month of the year (October is obviously first), what with March Madness, baseball’s Opening Day, the playoff picture coming into focus for both the NBA and the NHL, and WrestleMania [...]

April 1, 2014 Blog, Rants, Sports