Jon of All Trades

Browsing the "Rumpy Pumpy" Category


The world is a fucking weird place that is confusing, frustrating, beautiful, filled with irony, and sometimes rewarding. This is the end of our infertility story. *** February 21 – I had a shit day. After traveling on my holiday [...]

April 11, 2014 Blog, Our Infertility Story, Parenthood, Rumpy Pumpy


For no reason in particular, here are 17 random, non-sequential, potentially offensive, almost assuredly bizarre, and otherwise interesting thoughts about all manner of sexually related things. Enjoy your Friday, and here’s hoping you find your preferred partner ready and willing [...]

March 14, 2014 Blog, Goofiness, Rumpy Pumpy


When I was 10, I asked my mom to take me to Budget Tapes and CDs to buy me the new Color Me Badd album, C.M.B. As this was 1991, and Tipper Gore was still fresh in every parent’s mind [...]

August 6, 2013 Blog, Music, Rumpy Pumpy


When you undergo fertility treatments (mine was by far the most fun and didn’t involve anyone sticking anything inside me, which was not the case for my wife), the doctor then compiles the results of all those tests, reviews them [...]

June 30, 2013 Blog, Our Infertility Story, Parenthood, Rumpy Pumpy


“Welp, I’m heading in here to masturbate,” said no one, ever. Yet, you might as well declare that when you get your sperm tested. It’s a wholly unique exercise that I’m happy to demystify for you since the majority of [...]

June 3, 2013 Blog, Our Infertility Story, Parenthood, Rumpy Pumpy


On behalf of men everywhere, I’d just like to say: Thank you, Lululemon. You have given us yet another spectacular way of enjoying the female form. We are eternally grateful for your wonderful yoga pants, and we wish for the [...]

May 20, 2013 Blog, Rumpy Pumpy


Pop quiz: What is the item you can seek to purchase at an adult novelty (read: sex toy) store and feel the least amount of shame about? Answer: Fertility friendly personal lubricant. Nothing else even comes close. The lingerie is [...]

April 29, 2013 Blog, Inside My Head, Our Infertility Story, Rumpy Pumpy


“Here’s a hypothetical scenario: Would you rather give up cheese for the rest of your life – no cheese in any form ever – or oral sex, both giving and receiving?” asked our friend Amy recently over dinner. “Cheese,” Kristin [...]

November 12, 2012 Blog, Goofiness, Rumpy Pumpy


In a former life, I used to rant and rave about how much I hated I still hate it considering that site is nothing more than reductive, unnuanced claptrap written by a team of remarkably stupid and sexist chimpanzees. [...]

November 9, 2012 Blog, Rumpy Pumpy