Jon of All Trades

Browsing the "Inside My Head" Category

Rawk

Rawk

Thanks to recent events in my professional life, I seem to be made of pure hate these days. I breathe distilled anger and shoot rage out of my glaring, black eye sockets. I’m on the verge of a panic attack [...]

January 14, 2013 Blog, Inside My Head, Music
Neighbors

Neighbors

There’s a special moment in every homeowner’s life where his neighbor emerges from his garage that directly faces yours, and you think: “How have I lived here three goddamn years and never seen this person before?” In my little cluster [...]

January 7, 2013 Blog, Inside My Head
Resolve

Resolve

I don’t generally make firm new year’s resolutions for the same reason I don’t make specific plans for when I go on vacation – you only open yourself to disappointment. However, in the spirit of not shitting all over yet [...]

December 31, 2012 Blog, Inside My Head
Fish

Fish

I was hungover for seven fucking hours in the car. It was worth it though because the wife and I were in the thick of a brutal three week travel stretch where we were little more than two ships passing [...]

December 19, 2012 Blog, Inside My Head, Music
Batchin’

Batchin’

I have learned that not only am I boring as shit when my wife is out of town, I was likely always this boring. She’s been gone all this week on business, and inevitably whenever I tell people that, I [...]

December 7, 2012 Blog, Film and Television, Goofiness, Inside My Head
D-Bag

D-Bag

If you’re ever around me and I suddenly start to seem like much more of a douche bag than normal, but you can’t put your finger on exactly why, I’m nervous. My gestures give me away when I’m nervous or [...]

December 3, 2012 Blog, Inside My Head
Muce

Muce

When I used to make fun of old people and the mere concept of drinking fiber, I did not realize I would be heckling myself at age 29. That’s when I started on The ‘Muce (or Metamucil, for those you [...]

November 26, 2012 Blog, Inside My Head
Memory

Memory

I used to be staunchly anti-Facebook, and this philosophical stance was idiotic. It’s Sunday morning and I’m up to not much. Updating our monthly budget, catching up on a few blogs that are blocked at work and therefore unavailable for [...]

November 21, 2012 Blog, Inside My Head
Sriracha

Sriracha

“I can’t really handle spicy foods. I have a ‘supertaster,’” said the woman next to me at a business dinner as we perused a robustly awesome sushi menu. “Oh, you mean bitchmouth?” I helpfully corrected. [...]

November 19, 2012 Blog, Goofiness, Inside My Head
Lechery

Lechery

I find myself ogling men more than women as I get older. This is not a sexual thing, and I’m not dealing with any repressed homosexuality. I just find that as I advance in age, gawking at some 19 year [...]

November 16, 2012 Blog, Inside My Head