Two years ago I bought a tuxedo because I have a job where owning a tuxedo will ultimately result in net cost savings on account of having to wear a tuxedo more than once a year. I have more than paid off this investment. Tomorrow I have to put on my tuxedo and make small…
Read MoreFor no reason in particular, here are 17 random, non-sequential, potentially offensive, almost assuredly bizarre, and otherwise interesting thoughts about all manner of sexually related things. Enjoy your Friday, and here’s hoping you find your preferred partner ready and willing to rub up against you in that way you like this weekend. (Outside of maybe…
Read MoreYou know when you’re dreaming, and you realize you’re dreaming, but there’s nothing you can do about it and continue to act like however your dream requires you to act? Ever been so drunk, you realize you’re drunk, but there’s nothing you can do about it and continue to act like however that drunkenness requires…
Read MoreThe Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (last post about Fallon for awhile, I promise) has been on the air for two weeks. I’ve watched many of the episodes, and I’m happy he’s kept many of the bits that made him popular on “Late Night.” I remember when Conan took over “The Tonight Show,” and promised…
Read MoreA few days ago I pulled into my work garage, and right in front of me was this piece of shit parked in parts of four spaces (Four!) right next to the elevators. I thought, “Real nice, asshole!” as I walked by, which, unintentionally, also makes the case for the importance of commas because that…
Read MoreI love water. I know, bold statement. But I probably love water more than you as I typically drink somewhere between a gallon and a baby pool of water each day. In fact, typing just those three sentences caused me to get up and pour myself a bigass glass of water just thinking about how…
Read MoreGeek Bowl VIII happened in Austin this past weekend, and sadly, unlike last year, we did not journey to Austin and participate in the country’s largest pub quiz. And although the never ending laugh riot zaniness of adulthood has prevented us from attending our usual weekly trivia as regularly as we used to, I cannot…
Read MoreWell kids, it’s time once again for your ol’ Uncle Jonny to try some weird Sriracha shit and write about it for your amusement. On the docket for today: Sriracha Candy Canes, given to me in my stocking courtesy of my wife, recommended by our friend Penny!
Read MoreAs you certainly already know, tomorrow is Thanksgiving. On my previous website, we used to celebrate this holiday by inviting readers to make insane choices between something they’d like to eat, someone they’d like to have sex with, and something they’d like to drive. We’d award prizes to those with the most correct answers. On…
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