Jon of All Trades

Browsing the "Blog" Category

Stickhandling

Stickhandling

I abstractly think those who are good at billiards are automatically the coolest cats in the room. There’s just something so unspeakably hip about being able to saunter up to a game and quietly run the table with surgical precision [...]

November 30, 2012 Blog, Sports
Bleep

Bleep

I am a wide-eyed enthusiast for censored profanity. The biggest reason, I suppose, for this enthusiasm is that I believe it achieves the opposite of its intended effect. Rather than obfuscating an unsavory word, a big ol’ bleep circles it, [...]

November 28, 2012 Blog, Rants
Muce

Muce

When I used to make fun of old people and the mere concept of drinking fiber, I did not realize I would be heckling myself at age 29. That’s when I started on The ‘Muce (or Metamucil, for those you [...]

November 26, 2012 Blog, Inside My Head
Memory

Memory

I used to be staunchly anti-Facebook, and this philosophical stance was idiotic. It’s Sunday morning and I’m up to not much. Updating our monthly budget, catching up on a few blogs that are blocked at work and therefore unavailable for [...]

November 21, 2012 Blog, Inside My Head
Sriracha

Sriracha

“I can’t really handle spicy foods. I have a ‘supertaster,’” said the woman next to me at a business dinner as we perused a robustly awesome sushi menu. “Oh, you mean bitchmouth?” I helpfully corrected. [...]

November 19, 2012 Blog, Goofiness, Inside My Head
Lechery

Lechery

I find myself ogling men more than women as I get older. This is not a sexual thing, and I’m not dealing with any repressed homosexuality. I just find that as I advance in age, gawking at some 19 year [...]

November 16, 2012 Blog, Inside My Head
Access

Access

I travel enough to get upgraded at shitty hotels. That’s almost poetic in its mundanity, is it not? Send me somewhere cool, I’m a peon just like everyone else. Yes, the rate is $289 a night, sir. But I’m a [...]

November 14, 2012 Blog, Travel
Candor

Candor

“Here’s a hypothetical scenario: Would you rather give up cheese for the rest of your life – no cheese in any form ever – or oral sex, both giving and receiving?” asked our friend Amy recently over dinner. “Cheese,” Kristin [...]

November 12, 2012 Blog, Goofiness, Rumpy Pumpy
Sexless

Sexless

In a former life, I used to rant and rave about how much I hated AskMen.com. I still hate it considering that site is nothing more than reductive, unnuanced claptrap written by a team of remarkably stupid and sexist chimpanzees. [...]

November 9, 2012 Blog, Rumpy Pumpy
Rox

Rox

The Colorado Rockies have announced Walt Weiss as their new manager today, someone I like immensely and wish all the success to. Here is a post about the Rockies’ 2012 season I wrote shortly after the season ended. *** I [...]

November 8, 2012 Blog, Sports