Jon

Run

You know how horses can take a dump while they’re running or walking, but the same is not true of peeing? I assume the same is true for humans given that I’ve seen Raab Himself shit himself while running full speed on one of those old CKY videos, which is just about the only proof…

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Fish

I was hungover for seven fucking hours in the car. It was worth it though because the wife and I were in the thick of a brutal three week travel stretch where we were little more than two ships passing in the night. We bought tickets to Ska Brewing’s 17th Anniversary Party, which featured more…

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Kinship

I rarely find a fellow traveler that impresses me. As I’ve talked about before, I travel plenty, and I know what I’m doing. I walk with purpose, I don’t block thoroughfares and I know where the fuck I’m going. I wish I could throw away people’s luggage the way George Clooney does to Anna Kendrick…

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Horsemen

We play a fucklot of trivia. Our most frequent trivia outings happen at places that feature Geeks Who Drink pub quizzes where we usually acquit ourselves well and finish in the top 3 teams which merits house cash as a prize. It’s two of our favorite things – nerdery and alcohol. We’re going to Austin…

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Catering

If I have to name a least favorite food, I would say it’s anything that comes out of a hotel catering kitchen served in a big chafing dish. Doesn’t matter what it is, if I’m in some fucking banquet hall or conference room that’s cold enough to hang sides of beef at 12:30 in the…

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Tarantino

When it was released in 1994, my parents forbid me from seeing Pulp Fiction. I’m sure the reasons provided included the rampant drug use, gratuitous violence, and extensive profanity. But thinking back on it now, I’m pretty sure the sole reason was the whole sequence surrounding the redneck pawn shop owner and his security guard…

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Batchin’

I have learned that not only am I boring as shit when my wife is out of town, I was likely always this boring. She’s been gone all this week on business, and inevitably whenever I tell people that, I get the same dumbass mouth-breathing response. “Oh, well you’re batchin’ it this week. Look out!”…

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Bills

“A scrub is a guy that thinks he’s fly, but is also known as a ‘busta.’” Truth. Released in January 1999, “No Scrubs” by TLC became the group’s third #1 single eighth Top 10. It’s also a song I unabashedly love for reasons I cannot comprehend. I am certainly appreciative of female empowerment and the…

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D-Bag

If you’re ever around me and I suddenly start to seem like much more of a douche bag than normal, but you can’t put your finger on exactly why, I’m nervous. My gestures give me away when I’m nervous or intimidated or lacking for the appropriate social response. And the reason you think I’m a…

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Stickhandling

I abstractly think those who are good at billiards are automatically the coolest cats in the room. There’s just something so unspeakably hip about being able to saunter up to a game and quietly run the table with surgical precision and unyielding focus while onlookers stare at you reverently and women fantasize about what it…

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