Jon

Siriusly

I cannot fully grasp how Sirius XM satellite radio makes money (it’s possible they don’t and their whole house of cards could come crashing down any minute), but I don’t give a shit. All I know is that I paid for an entire year of service for like a hundred bucks and I’d totally do…

Read More

Murderhouse

While eating some frozen entrée for lunch the other day that served as mere delivery device for the bottle of Sriracha I keep in my desk, I read this. The story tells of a Pennsylvania woman who sues the previous owners of her house for failing to disclose that one year earlier, a man named…

Read More

Workout Song of the Moment #1

Since my fat ass has actually been going to the gym consistently, I’ve had to add several songs to my workout rotation. What will follow is a periodic update of whichever song has given me added juice on the lifting machines or elliptical trainer. Download these yourselves and enjoy. “Hypnotize” – The Darlings In a…

Read More

Dictatorship

Three years ago Kristin and I saw John Heffron at the Comedy Works downtown. He put on a reliably good set as we’d expected considering this was the second time we’d seen him. And then a fight broke out in the audience. Do you have any idea how trashy you have to be to get…

Read More

Butterfingers

Written at 11:54 am, Tuesday, January 22, 2013 Well, that was pretty much the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. Without dancing around this too much, here’s what you’re getting in for if you decide to read the rest of this, in plain, declarative form: I dropped my work ID badge into a toilet…

Read More

Carved

What happened here? That’s ¾ of a swastika I found carved into some wood above a urinal at a restaurant in Carson City, NV. Who the hell carves almost an entire swastika into something and then gives up? Can you imagine being this guy? Pulling out his Swiss Army Knife and trying to scrawl this…

Read More

Pilot

I snapped this photo at Cherry Creek Mall. This hangs above that crazy play area where little kids run and play on big plastic-y structures of Looney Tunes characters. I have not been in there, but I imagine this play area to be extremely sticky, which is probably why some poor team of janitors has…

Read More

Rawk

Thanks to recent events in my professional life, I seem to be made of pure hate these days. I breathe distilled anger and shoot rage out of my glaring, black eye sockets. I’m on the verge of a panic attack roughly 95% of the time and feel my muscles vibrate as the resentment, frustration and…

Read More

Whitmore

So this show “1600 Penn” is starting and is billed as “NBC’s answer to Modern Family!” First, anytime a show is billed as “whoever’s answer to whatever,” that show invariably is going to suck. “Modern Family” was successful because it was a fresh take on the traditional family sitcom with crisp jokes, brisk pacing and…

Read More

CHEATERS!

Today, this year’s inductees for the Baseball Hall of Fame are announced, and this will most likely be the first empty class since 1996. As fucking stupid as this is (and it is), it’s only emboldened by didactic fatheads who think their job is not solely to write about expensive diversions for a living, but…

Read More